(Not so) brief update…

The past several days have been … very hectic, to say the least. 🙄

I haven’t managed to get quite as much done as I’d wanted, but it’s been a hellish week.

Morgan was feeling social on Wednesday, so we went out to see X3 with a friend of his. I liked the movie a lot, but I was very disappointed with how they handled Phoenix. I remember watching the animated X-Men series on TV when I was a kid, and there was a lot more conflict and exploration of Phoenix’s character in that then the movie. Which is sad in a way, cause you expect more of a teen/adult movie than from Saturday morning kiddie cartoons. Well worth seeing, despite that, though.

That was the fun bit. The not so fun bit:

I’ve had a sinus headache from hell all week. Literally. It was bad enough that I thought it was a migraine — because I mostly the same symptoms — but meds did pretty much nothing for it. The stuff I normally take for sinus problems didn’t help, either.

Yesterday, I had to go up to Boston to let the vampires collect their vials of blood. I’m seeing an endocrinologist for (extremely) elevated testosterone levels and have to go back again today, after taking an adrenal suppressant, and then again on the 6th for an ultrasound. Then back on the 8th for a follow-up with my doctor. Sometime this month, I also have to see a gyn. I’m on doctor overload here. On the bright side, I haven’t seen anyone who hasn’t been pleasant to deal with yet. (I’m a nurse’s daughter… I was trained from very young not to put up with doctorial bullshit. LOL.)

Boston + forecast of rain + sinus headache = da ebil.

It was bad enough I picked up a box of claritin yesterday — or rather, walgreen’s generic brand, because the price for the brand label is fucking ridiculous — thinking that if it was caused by an allergy of some sort (pollen?), it might help.

Heh. Heh. Heh.

It started my sinuses draining, which increased the headache by a good three times. So. Not. Fun. Add to that, the 85 degree heat (it felt like at least 90, but it was so damned muggy) really hit me hard. Unfortunately, since developing the fibromyalgia, I don’t have the heat tolerance I used to.

I got back to South Station and took the train back home. For once, the train was well air-conditioned, but the shock of going from 85+ heat to something in the high 60s = not good. I was extremely nauseated by that point. Morgan picked me up, we went back home, I got another shock from the heat to cold and lost my lunch.

I pretty much crashed in bed for several hours, and when I woke up, I still had the headache. >_< Then I remembered the bath salts I have that are frickin loaded with eucalyptus. Grabbed the bottle, opened it, took a big whiff, about fell over as the eucalyptus started burning out my sinuses. Okay, not really, but that's what it felt like. Got rid of the headache, though, and don't have one this morning, which is, like, YAY. Writing-wise, I've only managed to revise a couple chapters of Resurrection and write the synopsis. The syno was not as good as I’d want it, but with the headache, I didn’t have the time or concentration to get it the way I want. So I let the male look over it, gave everything a final pass myself, and sent it off right before the contest deadline. Whee!

It’s kinda weird, because, for all that I’ve been writing and submitting this many years, I’ve never submitted a novel before. It’s like … woah. This could really sell. (At least, I hope!)

It’s an … intimidating sort of feeling, in a way. It’s odd, because most unpubbed writers talk about how much they want to be published and how they fear rejection. I don’t fear rejection — never have, really. Even when I was fourteen and fifteen, I had a professional attitude; if it didn’t sell, then I’d just keep shopping it around till it did. (Nowadays, I’m not surprised that none of it did, because it sucked ass, but it was the best I could do at the time, and I was proud of it.)

It’s not rejection I fear. It’s success. I’m not entirely sure why that is, because it seems to be the antithesis of the rest of the writing community. Then again, maybe more people fear it, too, and use rejection as a foil — both from themselves and from the rest of the world.

I dunno. But I’ve got to run here … I’ll probably write more about that later, though. 😉

One Reply to “(Not so) brief update…”

  1. Actually, I don’t think you’re alone here. I just think most of us don’t think about what “success” may mean. It’s not a hobby anymore. The expectations are higher. The pressure goes up.
    I don’t really fear rejection. I just hate it. But I’ve found it’s worse to keep my stuff in a drawer and hope I’m the next Emily Dickenson.
    Talk about YUCK on the headaches. It sounds miserable. The fact you were able to write anything amazes me.

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