Vampires, Novels, and Updates, Oh My!

… sigh. I can’t seem to keep this blog updated to save my life. 🙄

As usual, quite a lot has happened since my last post. I’ve been going through a real rough time writing-wise over the past few months. Some of you who’ve been reading The Novelty Girls know that I’ve been having serious issues getting back into writing after taking a couple months off due to real life rearing its ugly mug. I’d end up with my Inner Dickwad running my head in circles every time I tried to work on something.

It didn’t help that I had a lot of trouble getting into what I was working on, either. It’s not surprising with A Touch Necromantic, as I need to do some more development work on it before I can make any headway. I’ve got a lot of characters and conflicts I don’t know much about, as it begins in a different part of the world from Passion.

With Stronger … well … *sigh* That’s a bit harder. The original version flowed so well, but this has been like pulling teeth. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve broken it off to work on something else way too many times over the past year, or if it’s because there’s a problem somewhere in the last several chapters I’m not recognizing.

Bottom line is, I’m having trouble with both of my main projects. This is not good when you’re trying to get back into writing after a long absence.

One night, I sat down and talked to Morgan about it. (I love it that my husband is a writer, too. He understands and often has some damn good insight.) He suggested that if I was having trouble, then maybe I should look at writing something for fun. Something that’s for me more than anything else. But I couldn’t come up with anything that I’ve got on the backburner that really fit the bill for that. The Reaper’s Price is close, but I have some amount of difficulty with erotic fiction these days.

And then it hit me. Arielle and Jackson. More than any other character I’ve ever written, Arielle’s voice flows for me. I love writing her and spending time in her little nook of that world. But I’d been planning on expanding the novella into something longer come fall, when it was closer to the date my contract would come due. (Cobblestone’s contracts are one year in length and renewable by mutual agreement of both parties.)

Life specializes in irony.

Within an hour of that discussion, I received an e-mail from Deanna and Sable at Cobblestone Press. Because they knew I was not happy there, they will be releasing me from my contract effective the end of June. Cobblestone is a great publisher that has a lot of potential to be a serious force in the industry, but … well, to put it simply, we weren’t compatible. Happens in all sorts of relationships. That being said, their actions here have shown a lot of consideration, and I deeply appreciate that. 🙂

Where does this leave me?

Hard at work on Twilight: The Novel. 😉 I’m not sure if I’m going to keep The Twilight Deception as the title for the novel, or if I’m going to find something else. Anyone got any thoughts there? LOL.

I’ve added almost 4k of new material thus far, and that should go up as I start to get into some amount of a writing routine. I’m a bit sketchy on where the novel is going; I’ve got the rough outline, but I need some more specifics. And probably to complicate things, also; otherwise, this is going to be an awfully short book!

Wish me luck! 😉

Writing As A Vocation

I’m blogging today at The Novelty Girls about my writing doubts. Seems we’ve determined that “my” Inner Dickwad gets around a lot. 🙄

I actually wanted to expand on something I said there, but wasn’t immediately relevant to the post. I mentioned that writing is my calling, and for me that’s been very true. I’d told stories from a very young age, but it wasn’t until I was eight and started writing more frequently that I realized it was what I wanted to do with my life. Being a kid and all, I sure as hell had plenty of other things I wanted to do — primarily, veterinarian or nurse. But that one thing always stayed with me: Writing.

Several years ago at this point (wow… it’s hard to believe that much time has passed), when my Dad and I were butting heads because I wanted to leave college and he wanted me to be an English professor, I wrote him a letter explaining my plans — and how I felt about writing. Something I said in the letter:

Ultimately, I have to follow God’s will. I have to follow what feels right. This is not new. This is not some harebrained plan I just thought up. This is something I’ve wanted since I was eight years old. It’s a calling, just the same as a shaman is called. Some people have worked damn hard at crushing my dream, and they nearly managed to. [Former writing group] restored that, and I’ll be forever grateful to them for that. I can do this. I have a confidence in myself and my abilities that I never had before.

This isn’t just a hobby. This isn’t even just a career. This is me.

 

Certainly, a lot has changed since I wrote that letter. Obviously, I’m not Christian anymore, and I’m no longer at my former writers’ group. While I am still grateful for everything they did to help me, the circumstances under which I left were… not pleasant, to say the least.

But my feelings toward writing haven’t changed. I still view it as a deep calling. I’ve dealt with so many doubts since I wrote that letter … I’ve had so many people nearly convince me that I shouldn’t waste my time; that I should go back to school and get a “real” job … I’ve looked at other things so many times, but nothing calls to me like this. There are other things I could do well, but they would be so intensive that I wouldn’t have much of a life. (Of course, the whole fibro issue complicates things.)

Recently, I’ve been back to wondering if it’s the right thing — maybe I really am wasting my time here — maybe —

Then I think back to my accomplishments over the past year alone. I’m finally making serious progress. I need to learn how to work with stress better than I have been, but … this is what I’m meant to do. And I can’t go letting some stupid stuffy Inner Dickwad keep beating me down. 😕

Now that I’ve gone baring myself here 😉 how do you feel about writing? Am I the only one who feels so deeply drawn to the field, to the point I can’t ever see myself doing something else? What about you?