I picked up Eternally despite my misgivings about the plot centering around a psychic bond (I have… issues with them, but I will go into that at a later date). A couple people I know had said they really liked the book, so what the hell?
Lord. and. Lady. on. a. fucking. pogo. stick.
The premise is interesting enough. Kieran McIntyre is a Guardian; the full details of such is not explained within the book, but, basically, he’s an immortal demon-hunter. Hot on a demon’s trail, he crashes a party at Julie Carpenter’s apartment. He warns her of imminent danger, but she writes him off as a crazy man and doesn’t believe him.
The next morning, she wakes up to find one roommate dead and the other in critical condition.
Like I said, interesting enough premise. By this point, I wanted to find out what happened next. 🙂
Unfortunately, the story only went downhill from there. It turns out that there’s a legend of “Destined Mates” for the Guardians… and Kieran feels that Julie is his. Oh, and he can telepathically communicate with her–and apparently, only a Mate could hear his projected telepathic thoughts.
Kieran’s not happy with the idea of having a Mate. After all, he’s done well enough for ages without one. But the more he thinks about it, the more it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. After all, if he has sex with Julie, thereby realising the bond, they will be both be able to telepathically communicate with each other. And the bond that they have will allow him to telepathically connect to the demons to better track them.
… Yeah. You heard me right. A bond between the hero and the heroine will allow him to connect to the demons just by virtue of them having it. Even though neither of them have no connection with said demon!
Logic? What the fuck do we need that for?
I have to say, this is probably my hugest beef with paranormal romances. The authors don’t bother to make the worldbuilding make any damn sense! (If they have worldbuilding at all. I’ve seen books where the author stuck a pair of fangs on Ye Olde Harlequin Alpha and called him a vampire… but that’s another tangent.)
Right, so now Kieran’s still opposed to the idea… but if he has sex with her, he gets all these powers to help fight the Evil Demons! Yes, that’s his primary motivation for pursuing the bond at all instead of sticking his head in the sand like a demented ostrich.
At this point, the book nearly hit the wall. But I kept reading, even though the supposed “hero” seems to be nothing more than your average arrogant asshole.
Add to that, he constantly refers to Julie as “woman.” Like, constantly. You know how in some books, the characters always refer to each other by name in dialogue (even though I don’t know anyone who talks like that in real life)? Yeah. Think that kind of frequency, only “Woman,” this. “Woman” that.
I mean, really. What would you say to a guy who said shit like, “Woman, you try my patience”? ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.
(Me? The dude would be having a date with my fist. In the sensitive regions. But I’m a bitch. :twisted:)
But I was hormonal, tired, doped on way too much pain medication, and figured I’d keep trying anyway. Kinda like when you’re having sex, you know it isn’t working, isn’t likely to, and you should just give up and try later… but you’re stubborn and keep at it anyway. Yeah, that.
Cut about a hundred pages in which Kieran convinces Julie to come to his place for his protection, various incidents of mindless lust occur, Julie decides she’s not “safe” at his place and escapes (usually this falls into TSTL territory, but I can’t blame her; I’d have done the same thing), etcetera.
And then we get to the Big Fight. You know the one, about 3/4 of the way through most any romance novel.
In which Kieran tells Julie they’re Mates and that the only reason he wants her is so he can increase his power for the hunt.
I think it was supposed to be a confession, fight, and makeup scene, but I must, er, confess that I didn’t get that far. If the hero at this point is telling the heroine that all he wants is to fucking use her, then he’s not a hero. He’s just a fucking asshole.
I could not believe that Kieran loved Julie or wanted anything to do with her except use her. And, frankly, I don’t enjoy case studies of domestic abuse.
The book went flying.
The sad thing is, this could have been a really good story. The heroine is sassy and sensible, and there’s certainly enough conflict. Problem was the hero. If he actually had a heart, or had been portrayed in a more three dimensional fashion, this could’ve been awesome. Except the hero wasn’t much better than some villains I’ve read. That doesn’t make for a romance, sorry.
I want my $5.25 and three hours back.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
(This is an example of the “long” review. ;))