The Scene From Hell

OK, made some progress yesterday on the Scene From Hell. I think I got roughly 1k done on it, but I haven’t finished it. However, I’m through the worst; I left off right around when the sex was starting. I just need to write that, and then I switch back to the heroine’s POV, which I’m much more comfortable with. (And, honestly, I’d thought the heroine’s scene was next — I’d completely forgotten about this one.)

With all luck, it should speed up. I haven’t gotten much written on Stronger, but between beating my head against the wall with this chapter, miscellaneous health issues/complications, and teaching A&B, I think I’m just glad to finally be making progress on the chapter. LOL.

I think I’ve gotten the inner critic to stop bitching about the supposed “head-hopping” in the scene. It’s really not, because the POV character is a telempath, and I establish that early in the scene. *shakes head*

Ugh…

It’s been a hellish week. I haven’t gotten much done in regards to writing due to a fibromyalgia flare, combined with nausea from acclimation to birth control.

Also, I’ve been having some difficulty with the chapter I’m on of Resurrection. Mainly because I think it would work better in Orell’s point of view — but I haven’t used it before in the book and I don’t know if I will again. Also, I need to dip Xalidora’s (other villain) thoughts, because he’s semi-telepathic. My inner censor is screaming, “Head-hopping! Bad girl! No donut!” 🙄

*beats head against desk*

I’m probably going to end up handwriting it — as for some reason, that seems to help anytime I get into a sitch like this. Unfortunately, my hands don’t tolerate it as well as they used to. *muttergrumble*

In regards to pen names, at this point I’m pretty much wavering between Elisabeth N. Morgan and Elisabeth Drake. Someone commented on my LJ post about the subject that there was a famous court case some years back regarding an Elizabeth Morgan, so there might be some negative associations with the name. However, I really do like it — but I like Elisabeth Drake, as well. (Which is a pen name I’d considered before.)

I’m so indecisive. 🙄

Also working on stuff for A&B — next lecture is due tomorrow, so I need to get that finished sometime today. I’ve got it mostly written from last class, but there are a few things I’m going to add/edit.

Book in a Week starts today over at Evolution. I’ve got a 10k goal for this week. Let’s see if I can do it. *crosses fingers*

Plans and Goals

Okay, so it seems to be another one of those days… *sigh* Not hurting as badly as I was yesterday but am possibly having more difficulty concentrating. Grumble.

The past few months have been … interesting, in a number of different ways. Back in January, I discovered the root of a three-year-long writing block. I figured, even with making the realisation, I’d still have lots of crap to struggle with before I broke through.

Every time I started working on a project, I’d feel really good at first. I’d start to get back into the “zone.” Feel great about my writing. But then something would happen. Hell, not even that. I’d start feeling depressed and crappy around writing. I attributed it to a lot of different things — the fibromyalgia, my ex-fiance’s discouragement, visceral memories surrounding old WIPs, Seasonal Affective Disorder, starting the project too early, not having people around to write or brainstorm with, not getting the support I needed, etc.

This isn’t to say that they didn’t contribute. I’m sure all of them played a role to some extent. At the very least, they exacerbated an existing condition.

So when I started to feel good about writing again in January… well. I figured it wouldn’t last. I figured by mid-February, I’d be back to feeling depressed. Certainly by now.

Except I haven’t. I still feel confident about my writing in a way I haven’t for … dear gods. Three years, when I left college in order to pursue my writing career. I was willing to do whatever it took and I believed I could do it.

And then… so much happened. *sighs* It’s all a long story, so I’m not going to get into it – most of y’all have already heard it and those who haven’t can ask, if interested. Suffice it to say I got knocked majorly off track.

So … to be feeling like I did three years ago, only … stronger than that. More confident and less arrogant. Because — I know I can do this.

The plan, as of now, is to finish Resurrection, do a one-pass revision, and submit it. If it sells, I’ve got enough planned in that setting that I could do other books in it, as well. I’ll be hitting the ebook market with it, as it’s non-trad erotic romance. Ebooks may not bring in the advances, but if they take off, it’s a good amount of steady income. Right now, something steady, even if it’s not a lot, would be enough.

At the same time, I’m going to rewrite Stronger — which at this point will involve writing some 30k-odd new words — do another pass on it, and start agent/publisher-hunting.

I’m also teaching A&B at Evolution and will be developing a novel for that, too.

I’m going to do this.

Ch. 18 finished!

I wrote 1035 words earlier in Resurrection … many thanks to Loribelle and Jo from RD for word warring with me!

Now, must decide if I want to keep working on that or switch over to Stronger … decisions, decisions.

Or, I may take a break and take a bath. My back’s bugging me a bit and I’m feeling overall kinda icky-ish. Hm. *ponder*

Progress + Snippet

I didn’t finish the chapter, like I’d hoped I would, but I got a good 1622 words in it. Adding that to what I’d written earlier puts me at 3046 for the day. It’s been a bloody long time since I’ve written that much. I’m … very pleased. Exhilerated, in fact.

I’m quite proud of a specific bit of writing I did during the Word War with Amme and Morgan. Snippeting because I want to share:

Conflicting thoughts swirled in his mind as he prowled his ebon palace, his domain. Now, without the demon’s influences, he could see changes … slight changes in the atmospheric matrices. Part of him thought he should stop thinking about her–after all, it wouldn’t change anything–and return to his duties as Dragonlord. And yet … There is so little time. I can’t lose her. I can’t.

But he already had. Soon, she would be leaving, and there was nothing he could do to stop her. Over. The thought repeated in his mind, driving him into a downward maelstrom of inner torment. His heart felt like a fragile statuette on a wobbling pedastal–even the slightest nudge would send it shattering to the floor below. It had only been what, a matter of days since he first met her? And now he could not imagine life without her? Without her laugh, her smile, her witty and talented tongue? Veren smiled at the thought, but it was an expression marked with deep sadness.

I never had the chance to get to know her … to know who she is, deep down, at her core. And yet … their souls had touched, in that brilliant moment when she’d sacrificed her virginity, her sanctity by some definitions, to restore him unto the world. He knew her, in a way he had known no other woman alive. Even if he did not know the specifics of her life and origins, he’d touched the beauty, the strength and jubilation, the passion and pain, truth and honor and justice and all that was good but also the darkness, the wild bestial lust of her feline self. The second skin, the darker side of her soul.

He’d hunted with her. Brought down their prey, tasted its blood together, shared the joy and rapture of the kill, made love soaked in the remnants of its life force. Partners. Not master and servant, like the humans with their bonds, but equals.

That was the difference. She, in all her dark glory, was equal to him, like no other ever had been.

And he was about to lose it all.

I’ve been writing for several years, and I have never had description flow as quickly, smoothly, and overall well as these two chapters. Seriously. When I did description of this sort for Wings of Steel last fall, I had to struggle for it. This is just … flowing.

Not that I’m complaining. It’s just… a surprise. Especially since I hadn’t worked on this specific WIP in almost three years. By all rights, it shouldn’t flow like this … but it is.

Wow.

And … with that, I’m headed off to bed. I’ve been up near 24hrs this point, and I need to get some sleep. I’ll pick up the WIP in the morning, I think, finish off the chapter, and then work on Stronger.

Love to all! 🙂

Fwee.

Wrote 1424 words in Resurrection, bringing the total count thus far up to 34024. Considering that I essentially just picked the damn thing up where I’d left off three years ago, I’m shocked I got back into it this easily.

Shocked in a good way, that is. 🙂

I think I’ll start on the next chapter, as I have a friend around I’m word warring with right now. When Amme gets off work and sits down to write this evening, think I’ll catch her and war her with Stronger. That sounds like a decent enough plan. 🙂

Wow.

It’s just the year for discoveries, I guess.

and I were talking yesterday afternoon about writing and epublications, after reading this thread over at Romance Divas. (Note: I believe you need to be a registered member to read the forums.) We got talking about erotica/erotic romance WIPs and publishing and such.

I happened to remember one WIP I’d been working on a few years ago, Resurrection. Some of you might remember it as the spawn of that story I wrote where the shapeshifter fucked the Dragonlord back to life. (If you haven’t noticed, yes, I come up with weird premises. ^_^)

Long story short, I stopped working on it that summer. Stopped working on pretty much anything erotic in nature, to be honest. Writing erotic fiction while with someone who would promise sex, tease, not follow through, play mind and control games surrounding anything sexual, and have freak-outs about the content of my work lasting hours to days… well. Let’s just put it this way, it wasn’t pleasant. Then everything went to hell in a handbasket at FM, and I didn’t have anywhere near the energy to deal with it, so set it aside.

It stayed set aside.

So I went to look at it again yesterday, curious, as I couldn’t remember exactly how far I’d gotten on the WIP. I’d thought I’d gotten about nine chapters in, out of an estimated thirtyish. Not surprising, because that’s all that was in its folder. But, I vaguely recalled getting to chapter thirteen. Considering Summer 2003 is pretty much a blur at this point–there was so much going on, between FM, writing, Robert, soul-searching, etc–I really didn’t think anything I’d found would surprise me.

Hah. Hah. Hah.

I spent a good hour just tracking down files. Back then, I was shuffling between using Robert’s desktop and laptop, my laptop, and Vel’s desktop and saving stuff to the network. Between migraines exacerbated by the brightness of my monitor and my then-chronic tendonitis due to ergonomic stress, finding a setup that worked was difficult. The following summer, I was mostly using Shay’s Pele, because of the fried laptop motherboard, and my Compaq 233, which then died. Nutshell version, while I tried to keep everything mostly organised, I ended up with multiple copies of files in multiple different places. Tracking everything down… pain. in. the. ass.

But when all was said and done, I found I’d written up to chapter seventeen. That floored me. I knew I’d gotten further than nine, but … seventeen!?

Upon closer inspection, several of the chapters preceeding and including seventeen are incomplete. That could be because I skipped the scene when I started having trouble with it (amusingly, most of the cut-offs are right around the beginning or in the middle of a sex scene). It could also be that I backed up an older copy of the files; as I had multiple instances of the folders, I only checked to make sure everything was there. I didn’t compare dates. Either is equally possible.

I double-checked the outline. 17/26. That’s roughly two-thirds of the way through.

I’m beating my head against the metaphorical keyboard here. Seventeen. And I didn’t finish it!?

*shakes head*

Reading through the MS… it needs work. The first nine chapters are pretty damn good, imo. After that point… well, you can tell I was starting to have trouble. I don’t think it’s anything that won’t need some minor rewriting, though. Description, for the most part, kicks ass, especially in the first half. Dialogue… could use some work, especially in regards to character delineation.

Most of it? Stuff I can do in a one-pass revision. No big deal.

So.

Current game plan?

I’m not stopping work on Stronger. I definitely need to get that finished. But I don’t see any reason not to work on Resurrection at the same time. While it definitely won’t fit print market, there’s a lot more in the way of reputable erotic romance epublishers than there was three years ago. (At that point, Ellora’s Cave was about it, or at least, the only one I ever heard about.)

So Beyond Temptation goes on backburner. With all luck, I can get the rough finished within the month, considering I have essentially ten scenes to write.

*crosses fingers*

Wish me luck!