Okay, so it seems to be another one of those days… *sigh* Not hurting as badly as I was yesterday but am possibly having more difficulty concentrating. Grumble.
The past few months have been … interesting, in a number of different ways. Back in January, I discovered the root of a three-year-long writing block. I figured, even with making the realisation, I’d still have lots of crap to struggle with before I broke through.
Every time I started working on a project, I’d feel really good at first. I’d start to get back into the “zone.” Feel great about my writing. But then something would happen. Hell, not even that. I’d start feeling depressed and crappy around writing. I attributed it to a lot of different things — the fibromyalgia, my ex-fiance’s discouragement, visceral memories surrounding old WIPs, Seasonal Affective Disorder, starting the project too early, not having people around to write or brainstorm with, not getting the support I needed, etc.
This isn’t to say that they didn’t contribute. I’m sure all of them played a role to some extent. At the very least, they exacerbated an existing condition.
So when I started to feel good about writing again in January… well. I figured it wouldn’t last. I figured by mid-February, I’d be back to feeling depressed. Certainly by now.
Except I haven’t. I still feel confident about my writing in a way I haven’t for … dear gods. Three years, when I left college in order to pursue my writing career. I was willing to do whatever it took and I believed I could do it.
And then… so much happened. *sighs* It’s all a long story, so I’m not going to get into it – most of y’all have already heard it and those who haven’t can ask, if interested. Suffice it to say I got knocked majorly off track.
So … to be feeling like I did three years ago, only … stronger than that. More confident and less arrogant. Because — I know I can do this.
The plan, as of now, is to finish Resurrection, do a one-pass revision, and submit it. If it sells, I’ve got enough planned in that setting that I could do other books in it, as well. I’ll be hitting the ebook market with it, as it’s non-trad erotic romance. Ebooks may not bring in the advances, but if they take off, it’s a good amount of steady income. Right now, something steady, even if it’s not a lot, would be enough.
At the same time, I’m going to rewrite Stronger — which at this point will involve writing some 30k-odd new words — do another pass on it, and start agent/publisher-hunting.
I’m also teaching A&B at Evolution and will be developing a novel for that, too.
I’m going to do this.